An old co-worker, Meaghan, recently posted this quote to her facebook wall:
To change habits of the mind: we must speak and act in accordance to that which we want to align….not to that which is currently present. This is what can make it so challenging. Our habit pattern, our MO, our tendency is going to feel natural and normal…but may not be how we WANT to be. This is why it is 1- a practice and 2- must be done consciously until how we wish to be becomes normal and natural.
It perfectly sums up my belief that anybody, with self-discipline and plenty of will power, can truly change anything that they want to about themselves.
When it comes to my career situation, which has been an onging problem-solving situation since undergrad began, I want to be relaxed – open to possibilities, positive about my future endeavors, and optimistic that things will unfold in a way that will work out. But this is hard to practice, and I’ve been messing up pretty consistantly in my attempts to live the way I want in regards to this matter. I need to consciously focus on changing my outlook of how my career will work out. While I may have researched happiness over this past summer, I need to gently remind myself of my own knowledge accrued from that project.
When the local paper asked me a few questions over the summer for their column, Tell Me Something, one of my answers that is so true is when I talked about how there’s a whole “behind the scenes” that readers don’t get to see happen to the blogger. While the things that I do here are my fun times of each week (and usually put a huge smile on my face!), I’m struggling behind the scenes to make some sense out of my professional life.
Instead of getting a second job over the past few months, I’ve lived as cheaply as I can and have instead been focusing on “WHAT DO I WANT TO DO?” It’s been harder than I thought, but a few books have helped guide me in reflecting and have shown me that I have a pretty broad range of transferable skills that can be used in a variety of careers.
K-12 education is not where I want to be, and this realization took a massive weight off of my shoulders when I spoke it out loud for the first time. I’m so grateful that I went through the program – I learned how to instruct students and break down information in different ways that will help all types of learners. I met AMAZING friends and teachers, got to laugh with a bunch of students (AND even tee-pee a school!), and met a pretty great guy that I spend a lot of time with. I got to see, firsthand, how the college students that I hopefully will get to work with grew up – what they experienced, what they saw, what they felt. From preK all the way through senior year of high school. How many college staff get to say that, aside from their personal lives?
So where do I go from here? I don’t know. I was beautifully handed two college jobs in Hawaii, and had no idea how ridiculous the market was on the East Coast. There have been no handing of jobs here, friends, only 36 straight rejections, a lot of which I threw away (drats for not knowing that I’d end up making a collage out of them!)
I remind myself of friends that have received many more rejection letters than I have. I remind myself that I have a roof over my head, delicious food in my stomach, and am surrounded by family, friends, and an awesome boyfriend that want me to succeed.
I remind myself of the millions of people who do NOT take the time to identify what they want and actually go find it.
I remind myself that hard work never killed anyone.
I remind myself that things will work out, just the way they are supposed to.
And when the day comes that I’m hanging my copious amount of degrees in my office, I will hang this collage right smack in the middle of them. Because it wasn’t just the degrees that got me where I will be…it was the rejections that taught me the real lessons in life – determination, a little faith, courage, and the ability to have a positive attitude even when things are totally shitty.
Other notable firsts:
* I had never been on an informational interview! IT WAS SO COOL!!! She was really nice and confirmed a lot of things for me.
* I had never had sushi served in a hollowed out cucumber instead of rice before!
* I had never had a cucumber martini before.
* I had never seen the TV show “The Listener” before. I’d be OK if I never saw it again. It wasn’t terrible though.
* I had never met Winnie, Paul-John’s and Liz’s three-year-old daughter before! Adorable doesn’t even begin to cover her. I promised I’d come back and visit for a snack, so I need to work on making that promise come true!