Welp! I’m back after skipping a week. Here’s what happened.
I got so caught up in student teaching that I forgot to have a life.
I’ve never been so frustrated in my entire life. I am not a “process person,” and that is what teaching is: one big, honking process. I want to teach a concept, and then have my students suddenly be experts in the matter.
Unfortunately (fortunately?!), people don’t work that way, and neither does life.
The whole point of this blog was to serve as a reminder that life itself is a process. When I wrote my one-year anniversary post, I went back and counted that I had collectively documented 309 new things that I had done over the course of one year. That didn’t happen in one day….that happened over the course of one year. Stretching the good times out over that long gave me a year’s worth of happiness, which is much more valuable and longer-lasting than just a day’s worth.
To think that me working straight through a weekend and not taking off any time to enjoy life and do something that I like to do (i.e. new things) would make me a better teacher is head-scratch worthy. Me thinking that working too hard to make sure that my students learn something instead of trusting that they’ll come through the process with a better grasp of things doesn’t make me a better teacher – it makes me a burnt-out one. It also makes my students stressed out that I expect perfection from them. I have re-taught this lesson to myself probably about 6 times by now, and I’m going to guess that I will keep re-learning it many more times to come.
The other problem that I am facing is a paralyzing fear that I will never find a job that will accommodate my abilities and what I have to offer. Most music programs place a high value on the performance aspect of music – the performing ensembles like choruses, bands, and orchestras. Many offer some kind of a class that focuses on composition – the writing aspect of music. Some offer a general course of “how to listen to music” or “how to appreciate music,” which are offered to tantalize students who are in none of the performing or composing classes to at least appreciate it.
I have never been, nor will I ever be, a music performer. To I say I am paralyzed by fear is an understatement. I used to puke my guts out the night before solo recitals in college. That is a side of music that I neither like nor am comfortable with. Yet this is what many of the high school jobs out there entail.
I suppose what I must do is just simply have a little faith in the process of life. There has to be something out there that will be able to use my love for listening and composing as opposed to making me only focus on performance. And if not, then maybe there is a way to make it happen…..which is, itself, a process. I suppose I better learn to embrace the processes of life.
And if I have to miss a few weeks of the blog here and there, the world will live.
With that out of the way….onto the egg creme!
I don’t know how I thought of this one. And as I looked up the ingredients for it, one recipe said the real way to make it is with Fox’s U-Bet syrup, which is straight from Brooklyn. We had no chocolate syrup in the house, but what were the chances of finding a Brooklyn-based product at the local stop and shop? So off I went to buy Hershey’s syrup. But as I was walking down aisle 5….there it was!!! And it was even deemed kosher, ready for passover! Hooray!!!
The recipe was right on the back, and called for a 1/2 inch of chocolate syrup, 3/4 inch of milk (whole milk fizzes better, but I went for the healthier skim milk. And a lactaid.), and some club soda.
You have to put in the chocolate and milk first, and then stir like crazy after pouring the club soda in. It only stays fizzy for about 5 minutes.
It was delicious and tasted like fizzy chocolate milk! I think everyone should try it out!!
Other notable firsts:
* I had never heard of a veggie-nator. Apparently mom is doing something with shreds of veggies for dinner tonight. And the veggie-nator helped make this happen.
* I had never heard of the Wadsworth Constant. Apparently it’s a theory that the first 30% of any youtube video doesn’t have to be watched to understand its content. Not sure if that would apply to my favorite youtube video that I’ve ever made?? You’d miss the whole point of it!
* I had never had La Notte’s eggplant parm. Dante and I trekked up there yesterday to help Lex celebrate her 30th birthday. The day was super fun for everyone there and the eggplant parm was AMAZING!!!